Grudge

Holding grudge against someone is tiring, but everyone I've talked to ask me to forgive and forget. I tried, I gave it my best shot but something kept on bugging me every time I tried to do so. Maybe it's because of one sentence from the past, and it causes permanent damage to my heart. I'm not afraid because I know that some people out there still cares about me, and I'm important in someway, but what I'm afraid is about the dark side of each and everyone out there, they might be using me, or toying me around. Some people say I'm overreacting over small stuff but they are the one who does not really understand me, and they started judging me.

I might look okay , calm and crazy at times, but they doesn't know those rough roads I'm taking, because I don't want drag people around me into my moody-emo mood. Hiding emotions is perhaps my best ability. I know some people like to poke fun about me, even behind my back and in front of me. I can show that I don't even care but deep inside of me, it started bleeding non-stop, crying and begging them to stop.

I did however secretly cry when I'm alone and when no one is around. I don't want to make people feel like I'm some weakling and it is too much for me to take it. I don't wanna let people notice that my world is shattering into pieces. I know it wouldn't hurt so much as time passes.

When I wake up in the morning, what done is done.. I need to carry on with my life and I kept on telling myself not to look at the past.. and not to look at what's gonna happen.. but to concentrate on the present and do whatever it takes to be the best in hiding my fragile side from this cruel world.

Fantasia - Even Angels

A very touching voice + lyrics. Good one Tasia!
Download Link : [MP3] http://www.mediafire.com/?rcjyywjtmde

Even Angels by Fantasia Barrino

I'm driving in circles, shoulda bought that new phone
I cant find my way to, all the places I call home
I'm (on my own)
I'm at the station pumping gas, yeah I'm taking out the trash
I'm (all alone)
And who's there? Who's there?

Hook:
Since you been gone, I learned how to move on
How to be myself, I don't need nobody so
I'm doing so good, I forgot that I could
Live like this, woohh~

Chorus:
First step, take a deep breath
You don't need a reason why
You can, you can take, take time
You can, you can walk, run, dive
Close call, you think you might fall
But all you gotta do is try
Even angels, even angels learn to fly

Verse 2:
Coming home and its late night, shoulda left the lights on
I cant help but imagine, all the things that could go wrong
I'm (on my own)
I'm in the kitchen on the chair, reaching for the top shelf
I'm (all alone)
And I'm okay, I'm alright

Hook:
Since you been gone, I learned how to move on
How to be myself, I don't need nobody so
I'm doing so good, I forgot that I could
Live like this, woohh~

Chorus:
First step, take a deep breath
You don't need a reason why
You can, you can take, take time
You can, you can walk, run, dive
Close call, you think you might fall
But all you gotta do is try
Even angels, even angels learn to fly

Bridge:
Everyday I'm stronger, cant get better, if it, if it dont hurt
Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?
See me in my next life
Cause heartbreaks a teacher, and Ill love, Ill love a little bit deeper
Why? Oh Why? Oh Why!
Yeah

Chorus:
First step, take a deep breath
You don't need a reason why
You can, you can take, take time
You can, you can walk, run, dive
Close call, you think you might fall
But all you gotta do is try
Even angels, even angels learn to fly~
Fly~ Fly~ Fly~

Close call, you think you might fall
But all you gotta do is try
Even angels, even angels learn how to fly

Children : The Past and The Present

Remember when you're younger, you tend to get presents from your parents. Yes, there is no doubt that every one loves getting presents from anyone. The most interesting part of this process is when you get what you have always wanted. In my case, presents are always a kind of token of expression from my parents. They gave me and my siblings as a symbol of encouraging us. Our presents are not pricey though, it might be toys or something small.

When I was small, I remember I have always wanted a "Gameboy". My dad promised me that if I have a moderate results for my UPSR, he will get me one. Indeed, I did quite well and got the presents. I learned a lesson from him when I was thinking back; which is "Never lie to a child". I can imagine what I will do if I did not get the "Gameboy" that I was looking for.

Children nowadays are very condemned by their parents. They get what they want without any options. Parents nowadays are very : "afraid-to-lose" type (kia-su) . They always think on how to present themselves by giving what best to their children. Imagine, an Adidas watch, a Nike school bag and a pair of Nike school shoes. They are wearing half (or a quarter) of a thousand ringgit to school everyday. Can you imagine how these kids will grow up wanting more branded stuff? I went to school wearing a pair of Bata school shoes, Swan school bag and without a watch. Imagine the big differences.

What makes us better than the children of today's generation is our maturity. We are more capable of dealing with our own problems rather than calling for our parents' help. The problem is because the mothers would not give their children a chance to learn how to be independent. Go to SFI Primary School at 10 in the morning. You can see mothers lining up outside the fence just to see their son in school. For heaven sake, they are old enough to deal with their problems. Another case is their homework. Homework are supposed to be done on the children willingness. No doubt, no children like to do their homework but what made them do is the consequences of not doing them. The mothers nowadays send their children to after school classes and forces them to do their homework. Moreover, the tuition center are giving them extra work. Imagine how they are going to handle those workload. Pressuring your children is never a good way of teaching them. Human cannot perform well under pressure.

Let children be in charge of their lives. Parents like to decide what course they are going to take, forcing them to a path that they does not want to walk but forced to. Then, they will start doing nonsense in school, cannot perform well in their academics and starts giving up hope on themselves. Is it a selfish way of the parents to make their children? Parents never think of the sources of why their children are who they are now. They will only blame 2 things, the teachers and the school, but never themselves.

There is a lot more to learn in parenting. No one can be the perfect mother or father, but what they can do is to give their children the best in the value of morale and guiding them.